Fear is the Mind Killer
Watch and wait has been the mantra for months. Ever since we did my scan last fall and did stereotactic radio surgery. I had multiple metastases show up in my brain. So many, no one is counting how many. Just multiple. The good news has been they had mostly remained stable since they showed up. Another on pops up here or there. One grows a millimeter, one shrinks a millimeter, others just sit. Today’s MRI reading wasn’t...
June, Hey June, Don’t Let Me Down
I have been dreading and looking forward to June. My life is an exciting bunch of good and bad. June meant our big Lake Powell trip that we have been planning since last year. It has been a list item for me, I live in Utah and have somehow never been to Lake Powell. Mike loves Lake Powell and he has been aching to go for ages and it has just never been in the cards since it is a far drive and we have wanted to spend a decent amount of...
Chemo, Fifi on the Loose, Decisions to be Made
In the battle of pain, lately it has been pain 10, Mandi 0. My palliative care doctor and I mulled over the fact that we had increased my time release medication and my pain was still increasing. It was like the increase had no impact. I guess sometimes your body will just become accustomed to a pain medication and it doesn’t help much, even if you increase the dosage. So she opted to change my time release medication from...
Support is About Showing Up
This is a post by my friend. I thought it would be interesting to get a friend’s perspective on what it is like to live with a friend with stage IV breast cancer anther recommendations on offering support in this tough situation. My friend likes swear words (her mouthy-tude is one of the reasons we love her). My friend is dying. Hopefully not tomorrow or even this year. But someday, the insidious disease that is eating away at...
More than Meets the Eye
I had my brain MRI this morning. Which was nice and uneventful since I woke up and took anti-anxiety meds to avoid claustrophobia, so I was half asleep. This meant I somehow managed not to wiggle everywhere and a change in my tunes had me zonked out. I even managed not to cough with this weird chest bug I got in Philly (that I would totally appreciate going away!). After the appointment my dad and I went to a diner and got some food....
The Story of Goo & Gull
This is an amazing story posted by Shellie Long Kendrick on her Facebook notes. I am reposting with permission (she added a few edits too). It is so fitting to all of us in cancerland. Enjoy! Sometimes I feel like I have an angel and a devil sitting on my shoulders. The angel goes by “Goo” and the devil is named “Gull” It’s actually spelled “g-l-e” , but Gull changed it about 4 years...