A Long Time

Mike and I took the dogs up to the Park Silly Sunday market for a couple of hours a week ago.

Good golly (Utah swear words for those outside of Utah, we also use “gosh” in place of golly), cancer treatment is no short journey. I commented about “7 months ago” I was healthy in my last blog post, but realized today that I have been in cancer treatment for 9 months instead. Boy how time flies when you are having fun? I do have a deep respect for those that don’t see an end in sight in their treatment, I count days on a calendar, but some are counting more.

I am now more than halfway done with radiation. The less I wear the sparkly top, the better my skin has been behaving so far. I am a bit sore in my armpit and I am pink, but I have learned better what to wear and how to irritate my neck less. I seem to have the most energy at the beginning of the week and by Friday I am one big lump of “I want a nap.” I have spent most of the last couple of weekends sleeping. It seems like a waste, but at the same time I feel a bit more functional during the week when I rest more on the weekends. I have been curling up on the couch with Mike watching Star Trek Next Generation on Netflix (yes, we do lead a wild and crazy existence, don’t be too jealous).

This week I managed to switch being the last appointment of the day to being the first appointment of the day. I have to get up earlier, but this way I feel a bit less pressure to get everything done at work early and can spend most of the day in the office (and play less catch up at night). This seems to be working better for me so far as I get out of there much faster as the hospital isn’t behind yet, so I spend less time there. This does mean I have to put the “goop” on at the hospital after they radiate me (Aquaphor Healing Ointment is what they have me goop up on twice a day). I managed to get it all over my shirt today, so I was feeling pretty fantastically messy.

My little brother Dereck brought me more flowers when he came to visit. So pretty.

Ok, now boys, cover your ears/eyes. The end of menopause for me has so far meant over a full month constant reverse of the whole thing. EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Aunt Flow refuses to leave town no matter how much I beg. I guess it can be normal for your body to take awhile to figure out how to re-regulate itself, but I worry sometimes about the amount of hormones involved in what is going on right now.

I no longer feel like I can say “I have cancer,” these days I tend to refer to my situation as “being in treatment for cancer,” so maybe I will be comfortable with being a survivor next? Who knows… I am trying to learn to stress less about “the cancer,” which seems to be working, but I think I may be refocusing that stress on work. I tend to run on stress though, I am a stress machine. I am learning to eat healthier, exercise more, but now I need to figure out how to better control my stress..

Author: Mandi

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