Being Someone’s Superhero
I spent a lot of time convincing myself to be quiet about what is going on, but quiet is causing me a lot of stress because it isn’t my style and it hasn’t been my style. I am worried about work, but work will always be stressful, and gaaahhhhhhh. I guess we all have to take it as it comes and life is full of possibilities and mine involves two scenarios right now: cancer, not cancer (I have had these scenarios before!). I...
Three Years
When I look back at the past three years I try to bury the bad things and find the good things. I keep trying to stick cancer under a rock and keep it there, sometimes it manages to creep out (maybe I need a bigger rock), but I stuff it right back under there when I can. Days like today cancer sneaks out from under that rock. Today is the anniversary of the day of my diagnosis. I won’t ever forget the day I was diagnosed, you...
The Seasons Are Changing
The seasons are changing here in Utah. Every season, when it begins to snow I ask myself the meaning of life, “why the heck do I still live in Utah?” The answer is usually not 42. In Utah we say “heck” instead of the other word, and “darn” instead of the other word because our relatives of the dominant religion have a preference for avoiding the swear words, so we make up new ones that kind of sound...
When There is a Wheeze There is a Way
Except I don’t have a wheeze. I have a cough. I had my follow up appointment with the lung dude (that is what I have started to call the pulmonologist the “lung dude”). I had a quick chest Xray before my appointment. The waiting room for most scans, of all kinds, happens to be next to the breast cancer clinic and my favorite surgical oncology nurse walked by and gave me a funny look (in a good way, because she...
Watching and Waiting
The loveliest of lovely people at Huntsman got me squeezed in with the Pulmonologist up there today (when they say next available appointment I usually expect day or two), which is good because Mike and I took work off because we were not quite in the best mental place after hearing the word “nodules” involving my lungs… We had expected a clear CT in the back of our minds. We were sort of thrown into a strange place...