The Queen Reigns On
I always say I am side effect queen. I get the rarest, stupidest “you will never get this in a million years” side effects. See ONJ after 3 infusions of Zometa. Saturday I woke up with pain in my chest. I knew this could be a side effect from Affinitor, so I trudged through the day. Took my meds and figured “eh, mild chest pain – pfttt.” Until later on in the evening when I was dizzy, couldn’t...
If It’s so Wrong, It has to be Right
The cheesecake I am eating. Pumkin pie cheesecake, it came in a black container so now you can go ahead and debate whether that means Olive Garden loves Halloween in November, or is entirely satanic and that WILL be their color for the holidays. You know, since food containers are what we talk about on the internet obsessively. Brain radiation officially has codename “bacon day” since I couldn’t eat bacon at the...
Sinking
Sometimes I feel like I am in the deep end of a pool, looking up at the colorful bodies swimming around above me and wondering if/when I should go up for air. This past week I feel like the water is getting deeper and deeper and I am sinking further down. Gasping for air and not knowing if I can get back to the top as I sink into the darker water. When you have depression and anxiety as a normal part of your personality, grabbing high...
Picture This: More Support for Advanced Breast Cancer
This past week has been a whirlwind. Literally and figuratively, the world has been spinning around me as I have been battling nausea to the Nth degree and there is a huge windstorm outside right now shaking the house so hard that I may go build a blanket fort and go hide in it with the dogs. For protection, you know… Some of my girlfriend’s and I fulfilled the slumber party of #TheMandiList, my friend was able to arrange...
This Roller Coaster
When we found out I had metastases to my brain a friend honestly asked if I was going to call it, I told her no, I am not throwing in the towel just yet – and she didn’t mean it in a bad way. If you see me on bad days you may understand why this could be a consideration – when do we call “it?” For me that will be when I am no longer enjoying life. In the meantime, I will ride the roller coaster, even if...