Unpleasant Surprises

I am trying to find that place where I write… because I don’t want to write about this. Not today.

Mike and I are sitting here shell-shocked. Not that new news ever comes easy. My stress level was high before my CT scan this week. Partially because I was worried about what it would all mean, and partially because I had back pain that was getting much worse. I spent Saturday night in bed being a grumpy gus.

Pain and oncology appointments don’t mix well.

You should never have to see tears in your oncology NP’s eyes…

My CT was easy breezy, in and out. The tech loved my pants and my shoes (apparently when you work in a hospital you don’t get to be super creative in your attire, and you go home and trade your daytime PJ’s for your nighttime PJ’s). Needless to say, the lady was adorbs.

I got placed in a room pretty quickly when it was time for my oncology appointment, but the results from my CT weren’t in for awhile. My NP came in, I gave her the sad story about my back and the strange area in my armpit that got thicker. She checked it out, figured we would need to do a bone scan and then we waited for my oncologist and my scan results.

My oncologist noted that the good news was that my nodules hadn’t grown much (apparently the radiologist is past the point where they measure them each time), but the bad news was – something new showed up… in my spine. I may have muttered a few explicit words.

We looked at the nodules first. It has been a year now, and over the past year they have doubled in size, but they took a year to do that. So they aren’t growing super fast, but they are growing albeit very slowly. They also appear to be more opaque.

Next up was my spine. Ugh. They had it circled for us so we didn’t miss it. Not that you could miss this big black spot that wasn’t there 4 months ago. It also wasn’t there in my PET CT in January.


So now my CT report says:

1. New lytic lesion in a mid thoracic vertebral body suspicious of metastasis

2. Pulmonary metastases are about the same

Kind of confused about when we started officially always calling the pulmonary nodules metastases allll of the time. Thanks dudes.

We are scheduling my PET CT, my oncologist is pretty sure they can biopsy the spot in the spine, but wants to make sure something easier to biopsy doesn’t pop up – plus we need to actually look where I am feeling back pain (this spot wasn’t it).

On a side note, Mike and I attended Komen Utah’s Pink Friday party on Friday and had a lovely time. Which I am going to write about when I am less exhausted. 🙂


Love this guy.


Author: Mandi

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