What Happens When Your Lung Collapses?
Mar18

What Happens When Your Lung Collapses?

That is the question that has played itself over and over in my brain the past few days. Will it hurt? Will I die? Will I be O.K.? I know people live without a lung, I know it is possible, and I know my left lung is on its way out. When? I don’t dare to guess. I imagine when I fully go on hospice it will be sooner rather than later. I still have the drain in it for my sanity, but it isn’t draining anything worth talking...

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Another Day Another Dollar
Mar01

Another Day Another Dollar

Last week I saw all of my not-main-oncologist doctors. My Pulmonologist, my Palliative Care doctor and my team that does my intrathecal chemo. I was also getting my labs drawn so my oncologist could see what Neupogen was doing to my white blood cell count so we could plan on when and how to add Affinitor. When I saw my Palliative Care doctor I mentioned that my tummy had been causing me pain, but that my pain meds didn’t seem to...

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Hiding Under a Rock
Feb18

Hiding Under a Rock

I imagine there are a few people who have been wondering where I have been hiding (under a rock, the answer is under a rock). Utah is full of rocks, ahem mountains, and for the last bit I have┬ájust been adjusting to what my life looks like right now (new chemotherapy regimens, spending time with the family and that whole rock thing). I know people fret, but there is no need to message me if the blog isn’t updated. I promise I...

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Buying More Time
Jan23

Buying More Time

I left my last post a bit too open ended. I didn’t choose hospice. I just wasn’t mentally ready for a hospice discussion yet. Unfortunately I should have seen the discussion creeping up more and more as treatments have failed me more and more. My cancer is a bastard, it keeps getting smarter. Each time a treatment fails, the chance of the next one working well is less and less. I do have a list of hospice companies people...

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Hospice or Navelbine and Herceptin
Jan13

Hospice or Navelbine and Herceptin

One of the things I never wanted to be tied to was an oxygen machine. Which I should slap myself as I was a young dumb teenager that thought smoking was cool once upon a time when I was a “hardcore rebel.” Nothing says “hardcore” and “rebel” like I am going to suck down this disgusting cigarette and fill my lungs and body with poisonous chemicals. So it almost seemed somewhat less surprising that...

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6 Years of The Beast
Jan03

6 Years of The Beast

I was diagnosed with breast cancer on the day before my 31st birthday in 2010. My five year cancerversary came and went last winter. I was so sick I hardly knew what was going on… because I was desperate to try Tykerb and Xeloda to kill my brain metastases, so desperate that I did not tell my doctor that I was using the restroom more than 14 times a day and couldn’t really leave the house (my brother and his family stayed...

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