My MRI came back with new tumors in my brain. My brain, spine and breast oncologist was not happy about this as my last scan we had been able to say I had been stable for quite some time and then BOOM I was growing tumors. The new ones are primarily back in my intrathecal space, but also in my brain too.

We had just had a clean (as in stable, there were several tumors still in there)¬†MRI a month before, but, I swear, when you have cancer you to become more and more in tune to your body. Either that or more paranoid… for me I feel like it is more paranoid 99% of the time, but scans prove me right all too often.

Can the cancer stop growing for 5 minutes? We get this crazy body progression and now this crazy brain stuff. My social worker caught me crying to my oncologist that I don’t want to die.

It all just makes me think of ¬†bunch of zombies wandering the streets with their arms outstretched moaning “brrraaaaiiinssss.” Why? I have no idea, brain stuff forever makes me think of zombies. I blame TV.

So now what?

I met with the Brain/spine/boob guy who wants me to get WBR (whole brain radiation) at this point. He wants to skip the spine as that can really kill your blood production and hinders your recovery from chemo – with my cancer losing its receptors, chemo is my likely treatment route from here on out…until the chemo stops working or my body stops working. I have lost a lot of friends recently because their body just couldn’t take anymore chemo.

The brain radiation oncologist at my hospital is fairly new, which makes me nervous. I have the option to go out of state, but I have a hard time leaving my family right now, plus the expenditure… So many decisions! For now we decided to start me on the next intrathecal chemo while I wrap my head around WBR. I am still on Doxil also.


If you want an easy way to donate to metastatic research, change your Amazon Smile account to Metavivor – use when you shop on Amazon and part of your purchase will be donated. Boom!





Author: Mandi

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