No News is Good News

All I can say is no news is better than official news at this point. Oh, and my husband is amazing.

Two of the nodules had some uptake in the PET-CT, but not enough to really be obvious enough to say they are cancer. The lab noted that they are “highly suspicious” for neoplastic disease (cancer), but granulomatous could be a possibility. So there is still a possibility that I am fine.

My oncologist explained that this is why they don’t just scan people regularly at the hospital. It creates scenarios like this that they just can’t do anything – and that they just don’t know for sure. Which makes people crazy stressed, I don’t know how that would be possible? Ok, I do. I spend a lot of energy worrying every time I have a test, and I swear I have too many of them.

So this is a strange place. I have two lab reports that include the words “consistent with metastatic disease” and “highly suspicious for neoplastic disease.” The Pulmonologist can’t biopsy unless they are about 1 CM (which is also the realistic size for them to really show up in a PET-CT). They could do a highly invasive surgery to get at them, which they don’t really want to do.

So I guess ultimately it is a new cancer limbo. I have more obvious things than having nothing, but I could still be ok?

So the question I ask myself is, how should my life be, if it swings either way?

I am happy that I bought our lovely house with a kitchen that causes me to cook delicious healthy food (although I fear the expense if things get serious).

My husband is amazing.

I work for an amazing company and I have the world’s best employees. I just need to figure out how to balance work stress in my life. I guess that will always be my battle, I live to work (and travel).

So I will just keep on keeping on. Life is good and I guess we will just figure out whatever, whenever we can figure it out..

Author: Mandi

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