No News is Good News

All I can say is no news is better than official news at this point. Oh, and my husband is amazing.

Two of the nodules had some uptake in the PET-CT, but not enough to really be obvious enough to say they are cancer. The lab noted that they are “highly suspicious” for neoplastic disease (cancer), but granulomatous could be a possibility. So there is still a possibility that I am fine.

My oncologist explained that this is why they don’t just scan people regularly at the hospital. It creates scenarios like this that they just can’t do anything – and that they just don’t know for sure. Which makes people crazy stressed, I don’t know how that would be possible? Ok, I do. I spend a lot of energy worrying every time I have a test, and I swear I have too many of them.

So this is a strange place. I have two lab reports that include the words “consistent with metastatic disease” and “highly suspicious for neoplastic disease.” The Pulmonologist can’t biopsy unless they are about 1 CM (which is also the realistic size for them to really show up in a PET-CT). They could do a highly invasive surgery to get at them, which they don’t really want to do.

So I guess ultimately it is a new cancer limbo. I have more obvious things than having nothing, but I could still be ok?

So the question I ask myself is, how should my life be, if it swings either way?

I am happy that I bought our lovely house with a kitchen that causes me to cook delicious healthy food (although I fear the expense if things get serious).

My husband is amazing.

I work for an amazing company and I have the world’s best employees. I just need to figure out how to balance work stress in my life. I guess that will always be my battle, I live to work (and travel).

So I will just keep on keeping on. Life is good and I guess we will just figure out whatever, whenever we can figure it out..

Author: Mandi

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  • Amy Knapp

    Wherever it takes you, remember that the next four months holds many opportunities for tears, fun, wine, holidays, love, friends, laughter, and family. All are warranted, and every step of the way you will be supported <3 Love you oodles, Mandi!

  • Lindajean

    We are champions with ambiguity… might as well push the envelope. We’re with ya every step of the way.

    • So true. Champions of ambiguity. 🙂 Thanks LJ.

  • Nancy Stordahl

    I hate that feeling of being in cancer limbo. On the other hand, I always maintain that why worry until you must? Easier said than done I know. Thanks for the update.