I spent a lot of time convincing myself to be quiet about what is going on, but quiet is causing me a lot of stress because it isn’t my style and it hasn’t been my style. I am worried about work, but work will always be stressful, and gaaahhhhhhh.
I guess we all have to take it as it comes and life is full of possibilities and mine involves two scenarios right now: cancer, not cancer (I have had these scenarios before!). I feel like the boy who cried wolf with the endless tests and scans every time I sneeze the wrong way (with the lovely air in Utah right now, I am sneezing, coughing, wheezing…).
My husband wrote this today, it made me cry (don’t tell him, shhhhhh):
To the superhero in my life:
I never thought I would meet a real life superhero, but the world is full of wonderful surprises.
What is a superhero? Well by definition: A superhero (sometimes rendered super-hero or super hero) is a type of fictional stock character possessing extraordinary talents, supernatural phenomena, or superhuman powers and dedicated to protecting the public.
There is one thing that sets my hero aside from this definition, and that is non-fiction. My superhero is real, and comes to my rescue almost every day. And all this without a radioactive spider. Well, I guess that is not 100% accurate, my superhero has had a brush with radioactive things in the past, just not the spider kind, So, do they have special powers? Yes, amazing ones. And I am pretty sure my superhero could beat up Super Man.
Now you are probably wondering, what amazing powers does my superhero possess? There is a lot of them so I will name a few from each category of the definition of a superhero. My superhero’s extraordinary talents include, selflessness, honesty, and love. At the heart of the supernatural phenomena, my superhero can make their physical pain disappear just so they can come to my rescue. Top that off with the superhuman understanding of debilitating human mental conditions and we are starting to get all the right ingredients for a pretty awesome hero.
Now as for protecting the public, this is where my superhero shines. My superhero helps other superhero’s become superheroes. And despite having the villain brought back to life in one of the most epic battles of their time, my superhero is not giving up.
Take that Batman……
For Mandi, the most incredible person I have ever met.
Which was because of these results on yesterday’s CT scan:
So my little “probably not cancer” dudes grew up a bit… yay… (I am slightly delirious).
My Pulmonologist and my Oncologist opted that they want to do a PET CT to see if they glow. For some reason they still can’t biopsy the things (although several grew). If they don’t glow like cancer, they will do another CT in 3 months. By then they should be large enough to biopsy at the current rate of growth…
So no true confirmation that they are cancer, but they are acting like cancer more than anticipated..