Love, Cancer and 67 Date Night Ideas

I am amazed Mike hasn’t murdered me yet. Most men have to go through menopause once with their wife, I believe we have done it 2 times now and have been through Tamoxifen and Letrazole. Estrogen blockers are quite similar to going into menopause, at least for me. I will laugh, get extremely agitated and then cry within a 10 minute period. Over something like the dog puking on the carpet (not that my dogs ever puke on the carpet, they are too perfect for that 😉 ). Of course I don’t quite recognize the level of crazy I have going on, because telling a crazy woman she is being crazy is just a dangerous situation. Mike just tries to be as sane as possible while I am throwing fits over spilling something on my favorite t-shirt.

I eventually realize I am being “hormonal” and try to manage all of this, but it is hard on the both of us.

Cancer is hard on relationships, but it also teaches you to be better about not sweating the small stuff (when you aren’t in the middle of some random hormonal RAGE). I have learned in the struggles over the past 4 1/2 years that cancer has been in our lives, that I did marry the most amazing guy in the universe for me. We will be celebrating 8 years of marriage in a couple of weeks and I love every moment we have together.

Cancer likes to get in the way of us spending constructive time together. When I was at work all day and came home I was in too much pain and was too exhausted to do anything but watch TV. I didn’t have energy for conversations. I applauded getting food on the table (even if it was frozen ravioli from Trader Joe’s that I heated up on the stove). With so many interruptions in our lives we decided to implement date night so we could spend a night focused on each other. Cell phones have to be put away and the only screen that should be on is the TV screen if we are watching a movie. We had transitioning days on who decided what to do, which died fast because we would run out of energy to plan, so we would end up making dinner and watching TV.

I saw a date night popsicle stick idea in my feed one day and explored the concept on Pinterest. I wish I could share the link to the original idea I saw, but I didn’t save it. I did a simpler version (they had different colors that represented different groups of dates). So I went to the craft store and bought a box of wide popsicle sticks, a thin black crayola marker and a cute basket that had two jars – one for dates we haven’t done and the discard pile.

date-ideas

I researched date ideas all over the internet and put a list together on ideas that made sense for us. I added in some items from my list. I tried to mix in ideas for cheap dates and a few fancy date ideas The list is currently 67 date night ideas, but I have many more sticks to add more ideas in the future:

  1. Movie night – husband picks
  2. Movie night – wife picks
  3. Bowling
  4. Build a puzzle
  5. Video games
  6. Have a picnic
  7. Brunch for dinner
  8. Go to a comedy show
  9. Fondue night
  10. Brew beer & eat brats
  11. Make homemade cheese & cook with it
  12. Drive somewhere & watch the sunset
  13. Make dinner together
  14. Go to the museum & eat out
  15. Make homemade ice cream or sorbet
  16. Fly a kite w/picnic
  17. Dinner out, husband picks
  18. Dinner out, wife picks
  19. Go to a movie
  20. Pizza & boardgames
  21. Take dogs for a walk
  22. Dinner at a bar
  23. Make homemade pizzas or calzones
  24. Go to a play
  25. Movie marathon, 80’s movies
  26. Mexican night (food & activities)
  27. Italian night (food & activities)
  28. Computer game night
  29. Eat at a new restaurant
  30. Make a favorite dessert
  31. Make craft cocktails
  32. Go to a trivia night
  33. Aquarium
  34. Shop for something for the house
  35. Make origami
  36. Double date
  37. Go on a hike
  38. Go on a photo scavenger hunt
  39. Chili dogs and a comedy movie
  40. Planetarium
  41. Go see a band
  42. Korean BBQ
  43. Smores
  44. Go play pool
  45. Do something nice for someone
  46. Reenact first date
  47. Stargaze
  48. Asian night (food & movie)
  49. Build a blanket fort (& watch movies from it)
  50. Golf
  51. Make treats & drop some off at a friends
  52. Write each other letters
  53. Make holiday decor for next holiday
  54. Dress up and go somewhere nice
  55. Netflix TV show marathon
  56. Finger painting
  57. Go shopping & pick something under $10 for other
  58. Go buy a new boardgame & play it
  59. Buy a new video game and play it
  60. Act like tourists in own town
  61. Go to bakery and pick out treats
  62. Husband teaches wife hobby
  63. Wife teaches husband hobby
  64. Color in coloring books
  65. Make candlelight dinner
  66. Waffle night (fun toppings)
  67. Pirate themed date (YAR!)

We pull the idea a week before so I can buy tickets or plan. We have had some interruptions with other priorities coming up on date night, but we are going to get better at this! For next week I am figuring out how to plan a pirate date. I think Goonies may be involved. 🙂

With my energy up a little bit I have been crafting a lot more. Learning how to do needle point, painting, drawing, coloring and I need to stay away from Pinterest…

Do you have any date night ideas we should add to the list?

Author: Mandi

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  • Carrie Anne

    How about a sea food boil dinner with cold mugs of beer? Cover your coffee table with newspapers or a plastic tablecloth. In a huge pot, throw in an Old Bay seasoning packet, crab legs, shrimp, baby potatoes, ears of corn, and an onion. Boil away. Drain and put on a huge platter with small bowls of melted butter and cocktail sauce. Eat with minimal utensils while drinking mugs of cold beer, sitting on floor and watching a movie such as Jaws or Sharknado.

    • Oh! That sounds awesome! I have never done one at home. I love this idea!

  • thesmallc

    Love this idea so much! I completely understand what you mean about cancer getting in the way of a healthy relationship. It has happened to my guy and I. We often find ways to re-connect and try to continue to live a normal life, but sometimes it’s challenging, especially during Dr.’s appointments. There are also reminders about life being too short.

    What I would add to your list is to practice seductive games. It doesn’t have to involve sex, but instead, find ways to reconnect with one another, physically. This can include massages, touching, scratches (soft ones), etc..

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful idea!

    • Oooh fun. Different levels of intimacy get interesting based on where I am in treatment, but I like the idea of massages (I always want a back rub!). Cuddling and closeness should be a rule for date night! 🙂

  • Cancer definitely gets in the way of everything, including our most precious relationships. This is a terrific idea because sometimes it’s hard to think about what possibilities there are for other things to do other than plopping down in front of the TV. And I appreciate how simple most of your ideas are because let’s face it, sometimes staying home is all I wanna do. I’m so glad you have your sweetie in your life. I’m thinking massage night – no sex, just massages, of any kind. And maybe an eat chocolate night.

    • Chocolate and massages sound fun! I was trying to keep the ideas simple with an easy mix of going out and mostly staying home (to save money). Otherwise we did tend to find ourselves plopping in front of the TV. The aim is to really interact with each other and shut off interruptions.