My previous post about ups and downs has really been my existence the last bit. You could call me a liar if I said I have been 100% all around happy-go-lucky-handy-dandy-everything-is-fine. I started to let myself get down. Probably more down than I should have. I am a type-A personality planner-type. I don’t like uncertainty, uncertainty drags me down. I hate to even admit that I have been down, I want to pretend like I am the world’s happiest human being 100% of the time, but that wouldn’t exactly be fair to pretend to be someone/somewhere I haven’t been.
This is one of the ways I am reminded that I truly married the most amazing human being in the universe. He let me stew, throw a few fits and he sat me down. No one else can talk me through things like Mike can. No one else can show me that I am being stupid and obnoxious like Mike can. What our ultimate discussion ended up was that I was going to be really be pissed off at myself for not enjoying every moment if I get bad news, so why am I letting myself stew and simmer and stress… The man makes a darn good point here.
I am not sure why I let myself get so lost, but I am glad to be back in a better place. The theme lately has been YOLO (You Only Live Once, which I guess is a big thing with the teenagers these days). It drives some of the decision making at my house, sometimes good, sometimes bad… but hey YOLO!!! (I seriously feel like I am 16 right now).
I had a conversation with one of my oncology team about my upcoming scan. They had gone back and forth on doing a PET scan. We re-discussed that the CT and that it is really the best route for now, and that a whole list of new scans could come up based on how this one goes. The CT is on May 27th, so it is getting closer. In the meantime we live in limbo, a much happier limbo though. 🙂
I got one of the most random invitations in the world (to me). The Susan G. Komen foundation offered to fly me to Washington D.C. during the Komen Global Race for the Cure in Washington D.C. on May 10, 2014. I accepted, and I am kind of excited. I will be meeting the president of Komen, learning about their initiatives and I am still waiting for the official agenda.
Komen is a touchy subject among breast cancer bloggers. Some love Komen, some hate Komen, some are on the fence. There are good things about Komen that can’t be denied (and some terrible PR snafus that also can’t be denied). When I think about the Susan G. Komen foundation I also think of Bridget who wrote a blog My Big Girl Pants who also worked at Komen while facing metastatic breast cancer, she was an amazing woman.
I am also reminded of my coworkers, friends and employees creating The Elemonators team for the Race for the Cure here in Salt Lake City, UT. My sixth chemo treatment had been the day before, but I was able to almost walk the whole race. It was a fun experience to be surrounded by the people that I love (plus we pretty much had the best shirts ever), who were there trying to do something about this awful disease.
One thing Komen offers, to me, the ability for people to do something when they feel so helpless. It is a way that everyone can be involved in something and take some level of action.
I am also always reminded that I know a lot of lovely people who face many scary diseases, Multiple Sclerosis, Diabetes, and lesser known ones like gastroparesis, which my mom faces every day. It is hard to stand still while you watch loved ones suffer and it is a way to honor those that may not have survived. Organizations do raise money, they do help fund very expensive research, and I hope that we will see advancements in treatments for all diseases in the coming years.
Komen also fund several of the local small and large organizations that offered me support while I was in treatment. Many of which I am forever grateful.
One thing I want to find out while I am in D.C. is, what are Komen’s upcoming initiatives related to metastatic disease. It really matters to a lot of us out there.