A Ray of Light Through the Dark Clouds
Oct09

A Ray of Light Through the Dark Clouds

It has been a fairly busy few weeks since I last posted, there have been a lot of things going on at work and at home. I do like to stay busy as it helps me focus on things that are not painful for me. Not that I don’t have those days where I just want to stay in bed and wrap myself in blankets and hide from the outside world. But things have been different lately, when everything was getting dark to the point I didn’t...

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Anniversary of our Love
Aug31

Anniversary of our Love

It has been a difficult couple of weeks since I last posted, there is so much going on it is enough to make anyone’s head spin. Work has been steady and picking up pace now that school is starting, but busy is good as it keeps my mind occupied. The hardest thing to swallow was our wedding anniversary, that was a tough day. No matter how hard I tried to get myself moving, nothing seemed to work. You can’t escape grief, even...

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Camping in Gooseberry
Aug14

Camping in Gooseberry

I spent a lot of time getting Fifi ready for her first big adventure, it was a lot more work than I remember. Mandi did a lot of things despite not feeling good to make sure our trips were special. She loved to camp in her RV, she would start planning the next trip the minute we got back in town, sometimes before we even unpacked. Regardless where we would go, if we were away from home she had a smile on her face. Travel was her...

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Ashes in the Forest
Jul30

Ashes in the Forest

We are all dust from the stars, and at some point we return to our original form. I think when I pass away I will be asking for the same thing Mandi requested, to be transformed to ashes and spread all over the world. I understand more than ever why she wanted this, and I will continue the journey until I die. The thought of returning to the earth for one last adventure, to be a part of each amazing place we enjoyed together, to...

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Grief is a Bully
Jul13

Grief is a Bully

Love is what keeps us humans going, the force that pushes people forward in life, love is beautiful. Grief is a bully that feeds off of your love, holds you down, and steals your motivation. So far my battle with grief feels like I have two black eyes and continue to get knocked down every time I stand up. Putting one foot in front of the other is hard when it feels like you are wearing concrete slabs for boots. I have no idea how...

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Insomnia and the Evil Frisbee
Jun25

Insomnia and the Evil Frisbee

Sleep, what is that again? Feels like it has been forever since I managed to get more than three hours of good sleep. Nights are still full of tears and reoccurring dreams that haunt me throughout the day. I work all day and spend the rest of the night tidying up the house and taking care of the dogs so that I can rinse and repeat in the morning. Lately there has been so much going on I barely have any time to relax. I seem to be...

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