Chemo Land

Today is the big infusion 6 of the Taxotere/Perjeta/Herceptin combo. After three infusions we saw BIG things. Tumor markers took a nose dive and my spine and tumors in my lymph nodes disappeared in the night like a ghost (we did call this #chemohauntingof2015).

Now we have 3 more infusions under my belt. The tumors in my lungs were shrinking, I am not completely sold on the fact that they are HER2+ like my spine tumors were. I think they may be like my original breast tumor. Of course I don’t know unless we get a piece of it out, but that makes me a little nervous. I would then have 2 types of metastatic breast cancer, which means they could like to run around and do different things – respond to different treatments. Yadda yadda yadda.

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Either way…

We are going to go ahead and do that next PET-CT on the 4th of June and plan my next infusion for the 5th. My oncologist would like to keep Taxotere in the mix as long as my tumor markers keep dropping. Once they stabilize, or if I just can’t handle it anymore, we would stop.

I have been tossing around in my head the small chance I could actually dance with NED. Taxotere was slowly beating back those lung tumors. NED is no evidence of disease. It is the best case that those of us with mets strive for, most never see it, some do. NED does not mean you are cured, but it means you usually have a good amount of time sometimes before cancer gets a chance to take up residence again. Plus you stay on your medication regimen and treatments that beat it back and try to keep it from doing so. It buys what looks like more time.

5 months ago I didn’t think I was going to live a year.

Treatment for me will never end. I have stage IV breast cancer. It is not curable, but this is a best case scenario that snuck into me thinking it could be MY possibility.

Now I let the word NED dance into my brain. It bounces around, sings, echoes. Of course I am frightened because every time I get overly optimistic about my disease something stupid happens, so I am afraid about planning too far ahead. I am afraid to hope too hard.

So onward. Upward. Who needs to feel their toes? Fingernails are overrated…

We started to put together a Dali puzzle my friend Michelle gave me. Slowly but surely!

We started to put together a Dali puzzle my friend Michelle gave me. Slowly but surely!

Author: Mandi

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