90 Going on 31
I think I now know what it feels like to be 90, and I am not sure I want to ever be 90. Maybe they will discover the fountain of youth by then (it is almost 60 years away, imagine how much medicine has advanced in the last 10 years alone…). I was hoping I would be the lucky one that didn’t get the “pain” side effects that Taxol can produce, in fact when they told me it was a possible side effect I didn’t really believe them. I didn’t throw up while on AC, so that means Taxol will totally be side effect free right?
I felt pretty great Saturday! Wowee, best day after chemo EVER! Sunday I woke up “achy” and it progressed to “ouchie.”
I participate in a study that I get a phone call every day and I enter my side effects from chemo. One thing they hate to ever have you enter is pain (I was one of the people in the study that has a few nurse practitioners that follow my side effects and offer advice, answer questions when I have them and offer whatever assistance I may need to manage my side effects. This makes having to talk to a computer every day quite bearable). They HATE it if you ever enter pain as a response to something you are experiencing, which means they call me every day now to tell me to take my pain medications. I am not lying about how I am feeling because I know they want the data, even though it is tempting to do so so that I don’t get that phone call about why I am letting myself be in pain (have you met my mother? I come by my stubborn tendency honestly).
Yes, I have real pain medications (Lortab = real, IB Profin = not real), but I don’t want to take them. I am no stranger to being achy and sore, I have had arthritis since I was about 18 years old. I feel like I went from 31 years old to 90 years old overnight, but the sad thing is I think it is GREAT! I will take this over fatigue any day. I can function achy and sore! My brain isn’t fuzzy, I can make it through an entire day of work without wanting to curl up under my desk and pretend like I
am not there (although just work alone can do that sometimes, without the fatigue, but I really do love my job 😉 ). I like not being on a variety of nausea medications and steroids. I may not be doing as well on the elliptical as I would hope, but I like coming home and still having energy (and so far I still have my tastebuds). This is only the first dose, so we will see what is in my future, but I agree with everyone who told me – this is much easier than AC.
I met with the plastic surgeon this morning to check up on my progress with the Vancomycin. He thought my incision was looking good, but was kind enough to leave in the stitches (there may be a bit of sarcasm there, which means I will be going on 6 weeks+ when he eventually takes the rest of these out). I asked him to please take them out and he looked at me and basically said he wasn’t taking any chances after the last few times I opened up. I think my stubbornness may have worn off on him a bit. He told me the true test is what happens after I stop the antibiotics Monday, which makes me a bit nervous, I will have been on antibiotics for over 90 days to ward off infection. Maybe I am a bit of an antibiotic junkie (I won’t take my pain medications, but I fear not taking my antibiotics, the things that make you go hmmm)..